Tea Time With Jesse

Six of One, Half Dozen the Other

AGUE! (geshundheit)

Posted by middlerage on February 12, 2010

So I have fever and chills. A pretty bad bout with a virus of the head cold/influenza variety (no not that flu – I done got me a shot of anti-swine boopity boop boop). But I feel miserable. AND, I’m wired. It’s 2:38 EST and I have lain awake in bed for a couple hours. I’ve written two op-ed pieces in my head, and maybe someday I’ll write them on paper and see if a newspaper is kerrrazy enuf to print ’em.

I.Can’t.Put.My.Mind.To.Sleep. – (I originally typoed seep instead of sleep. Oh yeah baby, my mind is in total seep mode.

What is it about exhausting colds that still don’t allow you to pass out into much needed sleep? One thing, at least for me, is my nose is clogged and I have to mouthbreath. Which means I have to lay on my back, instead of curling up in a fetal-mommy-I’m-sick position. And it is uncomfortable.

So I was laying there thinking how much I like the word ague, which I think is an old fashioned term for a viral infection. Back before they knew about viruses. And I was thinking, with all the effort to scan old books and put them online, it would totally be cool if you could access archaic dictionaries (lexicons if you want to be posh about it). Imagine seeing how them old folks defined words?

{So a quick jump out to the interweb in pursuit of a definition for AGUE shows the following modern definitions: An acute accent mark placed above a vowel…WHAT? Oh here we go, this is better…fever and chills. Alternating fever and chills. A deprecated term for malaria. A fever marked by chills and shivering. Yep this is whats I gots.}

But I digress. Is there a scanned, old, yellowed dictionary to be had on the internet? I just did a very brief web search using the keywords: archaic dictionary lexicon and didn’t really find a scanned antique. I confess I am not very good at finding what I need online (hence the need for me to never ever ever be a system administrator). But I did find this. Pretty cool.

I also like this old-fashioned word pleurisy: A lung infection causing fever, coughing and difficulty in breathing. Reminds me of that episode of Kate and Allie where the girls write a personal ad to try and hook their single mother up. They were trying to be romantic and put in the ad that the single hottie suffered from consumption – because that seemed melancholy and romantic and tragic to their fevered bodices. Oh yeah, baby, I put a reference to a quaint 80s sitcom in a blog that contains the F-Bomb. I told you this mind ripping ague is a crazy thing.

And just as an aside, I used to work for a parts identification hotline. You know, Sears technicians working on an appliance would call in and say, “I need to replace the compressor on this Kenmore refrigerator. What is the part number?” And we would respond, “Sir, your part number for that compressor is P as in pneumonia, X as in Xylophone, one two four, C as in c’est la vie…” Oh yeah, good times.

Finally, in the spirit of viral infections, I want to leave you with a song – that I don’t like very much AT ALL – but it has been playing in my fevered mind all night; and now it will in yours too. bwahahahahah. And I have to say, that if Dylan Thomas wrote some of his best work drunk as a skunk (I don’t really know that), then this is the best Tea Time with Jesse entry yet!

Saturday, what a day, I think it was the fourth of July.

balh blah blah (words I don’t remember)

People playin people swayin, a man selling ice cream…

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