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Six of One, Half Dozen the Other

Archive for April, 2011

Happy Easter

Posted by middlerage on April 24, 2011

The fatman explains to me why I am chasing my kids around the yard with a camcorder.

Origins of Easter Eggs by Cousin Chuy

Posted in kids, short ones | 1 Comment »

A Few More Salty Phrases

Posted by middlerage on April 22, 2011

It has been a while since I’ve updated the continuing list of phrases that tickle my fancy. I’ve stored a few – over long – in the ol’ noggin, and it is time to poop them out.

First out of the box is a good ol’ country phrase I had heard and forgotten until Mark L. reminded me of it in the post about big boys. I wonder about the origins of the idiom sheepish grin, and it’s saltier brother shit-eating grin, but you gotta admit that instinctively your gut understands this concept. There are smiles and then there are smiles. And this concept just perfectly describes the oops-I-fucked-up quality of the uncontrollable facial expression. The unconscious rictus of embarrassment. I wonder what the emoticon for a sheepish grin is? Anyhoo, back to that wild redneck version – here is the country phrase that Mark reminded me of: Grinning like a fox eating shit out of a wire brush. I mean…you can just see it in your mind’s eye: the bared-teeth grin of the snout trying to avoid the wire bristles, and the desperate, down in the gutter starvation that requires you to eat shit. Poetry.

Second out of the box is a fun, but mean way to say shut the fuck up. The next time some pontificating yahoo wants to explain how wonderful Intelligent Design is, that Global Warming is a scam, or – if you insist – middlerage is out of his gourd, whip this  ammo out of the holster and fling it like a chinese star of obfuscation: Shut yer freakin’ pie hole! I love it. It objectifies the important mouth part to merely a “hole,” and the “pie” helps distinguish it from that other hole. It’s not obscene and yet it is mean. The muddledrambler has the innate tone of voice required to sling Shutcher Yapper, but for those of us not blessed with a great tone, the extra weight of Shut cher freakin’ Piehole expresses our feelings to a Tee. Extra points to any reader who rebuts me with this gem.

Finally, I present a phrase I’ve known for eons: Peace through superior firepower. I first saw it printed on the T-shirt of an acquaintance with a thuggish sense of iconoclasm. The phrase resonates with me in the current climate, because I’ve spent most of the last decade in the environs of that liberal social bastion known as a university. Despite being a lib myself, I guess I have become contemptuous of all the bumper stickers, hereabouts, like “War is not the Answer,” except, well, sometimes it is (note: I’m not necessarily defending any of our current conflicts, I’m just pooh-poohing the generalization of the bumper sticker); Or “Peace is Patriotic.” Well sometimes, but not really. I would prefer, “Peace is the overall best strategy, but not the only tool in the box.” However, I don’t think that would fit on a bumper sticker. I think it is the need for contrast; if I was driving around a conservative, midwestern cowtown, then I might like to have a pacifist bumper sticker. But around here, the devil’s advocate in me would love to tool around in a truck with the crosshair enhanced Peace Through Superior Firepower. Just to poke the snotty-scenti in the eye a little bit.

Here is the updated list o’ Phrases I like ( for an explanation of each, click on the left sidebar for Phrases I like and each episode will be listed):

The continuing Roster of Phrases I like:

  • Peace through superior firepower
  • Shut your freakin’ piehole
  • Grinnin’ like a fox eating shit from a wire brush
  • Reduce, Reuse, Recycle
  • Expect the worst, hope for the best
  • He’s so big he must go bear huntin’ with a switch
  • As big as your head
  • Better than a sharp poke in the eye
  • Piss or get off the pot
  • Tear him/her a new asshole
  • Put some mustard on it
  • Now you’re shittin’ in tall cotton
  • This is a fine kettle of fish
  • Back-handed compliment (Damning with faint praise)
  • Hotter than a two dollar pistol
  • Brown as a berry

Phrases I don’t necessarily like, but find useful:

  • No Such Thing As a Free Lunch

Posted in Phrases I like | 3 Comments »

Phrases I like – Reduce, Reuse, Recycle

Posted by middlerage on April 16, 2011

Want to be good to the environment? We all know to recycle, of course, but I submit that recycling is the last recourse we should take. There are a lot of problems with recycling, and the jury is still out on how much energy and raw resources are saved via recycling. Aluminum fo’ sho’; glass is a big question mark; plastic is somewhere in between.

I don’t remember where I first ran across the phase Reduce, Reuse, Recycle but I love the way it rolls off the tongue. You can say it fast – reduce-reuse-recycle, bam! good to go, savin’ the environment. And it puts the best plan first – Reduction. The more we can reduce using resources, the better, and that goes for everything, from material goods to energy to water.

Here is the updated list o’ Phrases I like ( for an explanation of each, click on the left sidebar for Phrases I like and each episode will be listed):

The continuing Roster of Phrases I like:

  • Reduce, Reuse, Recycle
  • Expect the worst, hope for the best
  • He’s so big he must go bear huntin’ with a switch
  • As big as your head
  • Better than a sharp poke in the eye
  • Piss or get off the pot
  • Tear him/her a new asshole
  • Put some mustard on it
  • Now you’re shittin’ in tall cotton
  • a fine kettle of fish
  • Back-handed compliment (Damning with faint praise)
  • Hotter than a two dollar pistol
  • Brown as a berry

Phrases I don’t necessarily like, but find useful:

  • No Such Thing As a Free Lunch


Posted in Environment, Phrases I like | 3 Comments »

 
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