Tea Time With Jesse

Six of One, Half Dozen the Other

Archive for October, 2012

With Apologies to Our ESL Friends

Posted by middlerage on October 27, 2012

Is it news that I knew you knew of the new gnu at the zoo?

Yes, English is hard.

[Updated six hours later.]

Uh oh, I’m getting on a roll….

The trashman cannot refuse your refuse

The rider was transporting an electrical bus aboard a city bus, while leafing through an omnibus of area businesses. Two rows ahead, the teenager bussed his sweetie on the lips.

The dishwasher is full, so use one knife to pare a pear, not a pair.

Posted in observations | 2 Comments »

Phrases I Like – An Oldie But Goodie

Posted by middlerage on October 27, 2012

Touchy feely week continues, here at Tea Time, with a nod to one of my favorite phrases. It was a very popular bumper sticker in the 90s, and I always admired it, but time makes all cool things passé. I think it deserves a mini-revival: Practice Random Acts of Kindness and Senseless Beauty.

Of course, I realize that most of my Phrases I Like are older than this gem, so my post title is just acknowledging that this phrase is clichéd and middleaged, just like me; not yet ready for a bona-fide antique license plate.

Don’t worry, I’ll be getting back on the rage wagon soon, and we’ll leave bleeding heart opinions behind. But for now, breath deep and practice some random kindness.

Also, shout out to Mark L for turning me onto a phrase for a good fit: I made that box real nice and Kentucky. Perhaps Ohio and Tennessee just have too large a margin of error?

les continuing list:

  • Practice random acts of kindness and senseless beauty
  • S/He’s busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest
  • Got a bee in one’s bonnet
  • Don’t get your panties in a bunch/knickers in a twist
  • Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill
  • Too clever by half
  • I’ve got to go say hello to Earl on the big white telephone (for when youse gots to vomit)
  • I’ll be there with bells on!
  • Madder ‘n a wet hen
  • Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life
  • Beat like a red-headed step child
  • Bob’s your uncle
  • Like carrying coals to Newcastle
  • A real belt and suspenders guy
  • Truth is stranger than fiction
  • Peace through superior firepower
  • Shut your freakin’ piehole
  • Reduce, Reuse, Recycle
  • Expect the worst, hope for the best
  • He’s so big he must go bear huntin’ with a switch
  • As big as your head
  • Better than a sharp poke in the eye
  • Piss or get off the pot
  • Tear him/her a new asshole
  • Put some mustard on it
  • Now you’re shittin’ in tall cotton
  • Raining to beat the band
  • Back-handed compliment (Damning with faint praise)
  • Hotter than a two dollar pistol
  • Brown as a berry

Contributions from readers and the Phrases They like:

  • Real nice and Kentucky (from Mark L. and means something fits well, well made)
  • Like herding cats (from switbo)
  • Spat the Binky (Dummy) (from Annie)
  • Hottern’ two rats fucking in a wool sock (from the muddledrambler)
  • Gird your loins (from Mark C.)
  • Put your best foot forward (from Mark C, who actually dislikes this phrase, haha)
  • Grinnin’ like a fox eatin’ shit from a wire brush (from Mark L.)
  • This is a fine kettle of fish (from anonynurse)
  • Chile so hot it burns twice (from Fatman)

Posted in Phrases I like | Leave a Comment »

Music Fridays – How Deep Is Your Guitar?

Posted by middlerage on October 26, 2012

From the “just so’s you know” files: A couple of Japanese scientists – who also happen to be guitarists, AND who also happen to be brothers – set out to determine what the perfect size of an acoustic guitar is. They report their findings in last month’s Scientific American. The article is gated but since I’m a subscriber, I’ll give you the gist. They constructed nearly identical guitars that varied only in the front to back dimension. The depths varied from 58mm to 98mm, and they both strummed and played the guitars while measuring the output sound with oscilloscope and whatnot. The goal was to find the depth with the richest, most beautiful, set of harmonics resonating out of the guitar. They also brought in 9 professional listeners (now there’s a job!) to give their opinion on the tonal quality. The result? 6 out of 9 professional listeners agree with laboratory devices that 68mm is the best sounding guitar depth. Up next, they plan to vary the center hole and perform new tests. We await their findings.

I’ll cut-n-paste the web page below:

The Physics of a “Just Right” Guitar [Preview]

A 68-millimeter-thick instrument produces the best-quality sound

By Evelyn Lamb


guitar Image: GETTY IMAGES

Kazutaka Itako, an electrical engineer at the Kanagawa Institute of Technology in Japan, has played the guitar since he was six years old. Satoshi Itako, who has a master’s degree in electrical engineering, works as a guitar fabricator. Together the brothers have been investigating the optimal shape for guitars.

Posted in Thinking 'bout music | 4 Comments »

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