Tea Time With Jesse

Six of One, Half Dozen the Other

Archive for November, 2012

Dicks, Douchebags, and Asshats

Posted by middlerage on November 29, 2012

Has a finer post title ever been written?

I am musing on the fact that so much of our derogatory language comes at the expense of wimin. Why is that? Well, we all know the answer, and it’s complex and would take about 500 hours and several PhD dissertations to dissect. My readers aren’t stupid and I’m not telling them anything new.

Still, it’s interesting that “bitch” is now acceptable language for TV, and one of my favorite shows regularly uses the term “douche” to describe dickish behavior on the part of a man. Unless you live in a French-speaking country, “douche” and/or “douchebag” refers to the vagina-cleansing ritual and/or tools. So let’s be honest, every straight dude spends his life trying to get inside a woman’s vajayjay, but when we’re pissed off we’ll call someone a Douche? Cunt? Whore? Bitch? Never testicle or scrotum or foreskin.

How come we can use douche but not dick on TV? That doesn’t seem fair. Which is why I advocate for “asshat.” The gender-neutral pejorative: you’re an asshat, she’s an asshat, he’s an asshat. Unless you’re really mad – then you call someone a piece of shit. You’re not even the whole pile, mannn, you’re just a PIECE, a fragment, an extrusion of shit.

So anyway, write to your favorite TV series and ask them to start incorporating “asshat” into the dialogue. It’s the right thing to do.

Posted in observations | 7 Comments »

Exciting, Good News that is Neither

Posted by middlerage on November 26, 2012

Gulp. Sigh. File under Global Warming.

From the BBC website:

Gas tanker Ob River attempts first winter Arctic crossing

full article

Posted in Climate | 2 Comments »

Holiday reprise

Posted by middlerage on November 23, 2012

refeaturing a past post on what to do with your leftover turkey:

The Perfect Turkey Sandwich

Posted by middlerage on December 3, 2010

The Perfect Turkey San:

Take good ole American white loaf bread. The soft doughy kind that drives Europeans into fits. The kind you can squeeze into a ball of high-glycemic madness if you wanted to (don’t). Spread about a 1/2 tablespoon of good mayo on each piece. Don’t go crazy, but make sure you get enough to help moisten the meat as it passes your gullet. Liberally spread chunky white meat, leftover from a holiday feast, across the bottom bread. We’re talkin’ real, roast turkey, here, not the processed, packaged kind you get from the grocery store. Sprinkle a bit of salt ever so slightly over the white meat – not too little, but definitely not too much. Top with the top piece of mayo’d bread.

Enjoy the perfection. It’s all about simplicity. Less is more. The amount of salt and mayonnaise is critical. You need a zen-like sense of when to stop. It is a study in properly balancing the ancillary to the main. The ink to the poem. It is a celebration of Earth, Water, Wind, and Turkey. When a Japanese friend treats you to a full-on tea ceremony, return the favor by conducting the procedure for a perfect turkey sandwich. It’s high art, baby. It might be helpful to play soft flute music during the construction phase. Do NOT burn incense as this will interfere with the taste buds.

The Imperfect, but still delicious, Turkey Sandwich:

Make variations on the above recipe. Sometimes I (you) may want some variety. Especially if the turkey is large and the guests are long gone. You can change it up and – while not the perfect t.s. – you’ll still have an excellent, delicious treat.

You could lightly toast the bread (don’t toast dark or hard). You can substitute whole wheat bread, or even something crazy like focaccia. Sometimes I use dark meat, sometimes I sprinkle with basil leaves or pepper or oregano or all.  You could get silly with cheese and/or mustard. Maybe try some rye bread. Maybe light some incense, and play some rock-n-roll. Just remember, that while still deliciously marvelous and marvelously delicious, any slide towards a sandwich fit for a gourmet magazine is a slide away from the perfect.

[Update 12-05-10] I can’t believe I forgot to include two of the best adjuncts to the imperfect turkey sandwich – bacon and avocado, preferably together.

Posted in Recipes | 1 Comment »

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