Tea Time With Jesse

Six of One, Half Dozen the Other


Posted by middlerage on November 2, 2012


American Consumer
Anytown, USA

Dear Fellow American,

By now you have probably seen our many TV ads touting "clean coal" as one 
of the most important ways to put America back to work and get our economy
back to dominating the global stage. This ad campaign is working really well,
nevermind that clean coal is an oxymoron of the most egregious sort. No matter
that we ship the "dirty", high-sulfer coal to China.  Fortunately, China's 
atmosphere stays over there and has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with us. Air 
currents and jet streams are a liberal myth. Nevermind our supposedly 
cleaner coal still pumps mercury and other heavy metal poisons into the atmosphere, 
along with copious amounts of CO2. What's important to remember is that WE CARE.
We care about you and your children. We care about the environment. Our 
number one priority is a pristine Earth. 

As such, we've decided to branch out into America's most important resource - water. 

Beginning today, the coal industry will begin supplying America with pure, raw 
sewage. Drought in the Mid-West? Chemical Solvents leaching into wells? Not to worry,
Clean Raw Sewage™ is here to alleviate your drinking water concerns. It's just 
another way we, in the coal industry, are putting people and the environment ahead 
of profits. Because WE CARE.

Clean Raw Sewage™ - It's what America's Drinking!

Your friends in Coal.

4 Responses to “Greenwashing”

  1. Dahveed said

    I think water (or the supply and quality thereof) is going to be the issue that’s finally going to overturn public apathy about environmental issues. For whatever reason, people seem to have a more visceral reaction to what they put in their mouths than what they breath into their lungs. They tend to get worked up more about what gets put into their water supply than what gets pumped into their air.

  2. We suspect Dahveed is correct. Back in the ’60’s, it was rivers quite litterally catching on fire that, in large part, prompted the Environmental Movement. Puzzling (baffling) that clean water is not already a bi-partisan, all-Americans-can-agree-on value.

  3. jjhensley said

    I wonder how much overlap there is between the Tea Party and the anti-fluoridation wingnuts.

    …Just trying to brainstorm reasons water “purity” wouldn’t be bi-partisan.

    The problem is that water supply is both slow-moving and “invisible” — you can tell people they’re draining the aquifer their local water comes from, but they can’t see that and probably don’t understand how slowly deep groundwater recharges. Water is also intensely political — you may be running out of water, but someone else “nearby” (the next state, or only 200 miles away, or just on the other side of that mountain range…) has plenty, so why can’t their plenty get piped your way? And while the multitude will support saving the Coho Salmon or a pristine valley from a dam when water is plentiful, when their water bill goes up or they’re told to let their lawn die they blame the damn environmentalists.

    Unfortunately, I think we’ll need a full-fledged water-supply disaster to wake people up.

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